Are loners easier to bully?
When you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. Mark Twain emphasizes on individuality. And so do we, but the irony I see is that we value just one type of individual. That is one who is 'social, outspoken but then average otherwise. The minute we encounter an individual lost in books, comes up with saying 'I have my own values and beliefs' and speaks of things we would never make an attempt to understand, we have already ostracized that person as abnormal.
This attitude, the very same mindset is responsible for bullying. I do not wish to convey that I am the best human planet earth could have, but yes I do stand above the conventional benchmarks we have carved out so far. Although I have had to pay price for that.
Image source: https://www.pinterest.com/explore/mark-twain
I have been and am bullied because more often than not I have been mistaken or not understood in a way I want them to understand me. One would often find me working alone. I enjoy peace and love solitude. But this as I see is too 'unfit' or 'uncool' because I am not making friends, not having people to hang out with, or am not involved in wonders that are naturally bound to occur in this phase.
Students not part of any group have a lesser advantage to communicate in class as against those who travel in herds. Yes herds I call it because here the inner voice is often choked. And such 'loners' as they call it are bullied. Because harassing a single person is easier than to trouble a whole group. Is that the reason why groups are formed in the first place? If the nourishing environment for me to work in is when I am alone, if that motivates me, if that is where I get my energy from, why should they have a concern?
I agree I am shy. My shyness is interpreted as arrogance. It is awkward to find your teacher in the corridors during breaks. I tend to not wish them. Look at her so rude! would be a remark.
Shyness leaves a subtle silence. I prefer calm. A noisy place is nauseating for me. But this silence is seen as a limp, laziness or inert behaviour in class. To guide a senior, one of my teachers cornered her and said 'open up in class, be active or else you will be Rutuja Rokade'
What actions of mine led to this 'like Rutuja Rokade' term which is really shameful.
We need critics to help ourselves keep in check, sure we do. But only the ones that are informative and stand high on moral grounds. One of the biologists I was working with had this advice for me. He said he observed that I do not show any expressions. It was sort of a concern I could see. That made me feel vulnerable because that is not what I intend to be. But again, biologist saying that? For research has proven that introverts tend to be facially less expressive; 'smile, Rutuja what is wrong with you?' I have been pestered with this quite often.
Books are my closest friends.To get to view the world with a new shade of spectacles is thrilling. This still has widened the gap between me and the class. If you could draw correlation, I have observed that students who read are the ones most bullied. Quite counterproductive for books, isn't it?
Shyness, introversion aloofness are byproducts of who I am. They would always be accompanied with the silver linings that I have. And therefore if you are appreciating me or expressing your gratitude, you have to accept me as a whole. People always come in a pack of colour pens. Irrespective of whether we like all the
colours or not we still buy the entire pack. There can't be white without black or yellow without green. We need to accept people as they are.
I am who I am. You take it or leave.
