Bullying Series Part 1: Agni Prithvi in 2014
Names changed to protect the identity of students.
The Red Door’s association with Agni Prithvi started with my exasperation and helplessness with the amount and the kinds of relentless bullying I witnessed.
It was unmitigated violence with very little physical harm involved. The students seemed to know each other inside out and used the information they had about each other in the meanest and the most degrading ways possible. They knew what each other’s weakest point was and it felt like they were relentlessly on their toes to bring each other down. They could use the excuse of not liking someone to not only cause as much harm they wanted but also justify it to themselves and the world.
Shashank was disliked because he was 'different'. He liked reading and wasn't macho enough for the other boys. He sometimes wanted friendship with his hateful classmates which put him in further trouble. His bag was once stolen and thrown in a public dustbin outside of school when he was blissfully unaware reading in the library. Whoever did it made sure that they sprinkled some garbage on the bag as well. No evidence of the crime, whatsoever.
Parimala was ostracized for the simple reason that she had an opinion. Unfortunately for her, her opinions didn't always match with that of the powerful in class. To make matters worse, she was in a brief relationship with an older boy. Bullying and name calling were a daily reality for her - she could be working silently, talking to a friend, raising her hand to answer in class, or just sitting in a corner to have her lunch. Someone was always around to say exactly what would hurt.
Deepa became an easy target when she chose to explore what relationships felt like. Dating one boy from a group made her 'available' to all his friends. They could call her a slut and get away with it. It would be done on an online group where no adults exist. It would be done in the presence of her boyfriend who didn't object. To top it all, she wouldn't be able to approach adults because she brought it upon herself by saying 'yes', rendering her guilty, ashamed and helpless.
One of the cool kids in class asked Bhavana to be his girlfriend. She refused. After all kinds of pressure did not work on her, they decided to spread the news that she was a lesbian. To make things clear, at that time in Agni Prithvi, 'lesbian' was one of the most offensive and derogatory terms. It was a choice expletive reserved for times when 'slut' didn't cut it.
In retrospect, I now know that this is not unique to Agni Prithvi. I have seen other classes where this kind of mistreatment of each other flourishes under the noses of all adults in the building. When bullying is prevalent, it sends a loud and clear message to both the bullied and the bullies that the space allows it. Nothing would be done. Nothing can be done. The students and teachers both know it. It is a hopeless situation.
Stay tuned to know how TRD and the school collaborated to attack this problem.
